Sunday, March 31, 2013

Happy Easter!!

With all that has been going on lately, it is a sweet reminder that Christ does indeed Live. Oh, how He loves me, too. So grateful for my Savior, and for my sweet family.

How great Thou art.

Happy Easter!!

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Canvas Makeover!!!

Remember when I gave you a tour of my master bedroom??  Well... do you remember when I told you that I had plans to makeover this picture...

I finally did it. I FINALLY figured out exactly what I wanted and believe it or not, Maila actually helped me out with this idea.


And the remarkable AFTER!! LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!

The colors aren't quite as neon as they're showing up in the picture, but I love it all the same. And probably would love it still even if it were neon.

It prompted me to re-decorate my kitchen AGAIN...

I even finally got CURTAINS! *swoon* I'll show you those later though... I'm just so excited about my new artwork!! I need the constant daily reminder, in fact, I think everybody needs a constant reminder.

The picture also came in this AWESOME huge ornate frame...but it was gold. Bleh. NOT my style. So I refinished that in a High Gloss White. LOVE.

I REALLY love it.

So easy. You should try it.

Monday, March 25, 2013

Easter is Coming!

Thank you all for your kind and supportive words! Especially those of you who emailed with your experiences. Having kids is challenging for sure, but it's nice to know that I'm no the only mother that is challenged!! (I knew that before, but it's nice to be reminded) - it's also nice to be reminded of how many people care!

I wanted to share this with you all! A FREE Easter Printable ( or any day of the year printable )

Just right click on the picture and save it - it's a high resolution file. It's sized for an 8x10. Just please comment and let me know you love it if you've decided to use it!

Christ the Lord is indeed Risen. Alleluia.

I'll see you later this week!

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Confessions of a Mom-Aged Drama Queen

It's been a while since I've given an update on my sweet Maila. Truth is, I haven't done it because nothing really has changed. Last time I updated was when my sweetie was 6 months old.

Let's start with the positive!!

SHE SITS!!!! You may not think that this is a big deal, but TRUST ME it's a BIG DEAL. This has been a long time coming and I'm glad that she finally has the strength to sit. She's been doing it like a pro now for 3 weeks or so. Such a strong girl!!

She's pretty healthy! There's nothing majorly wrong with her, and our impromptu super fun visits to the urgent care and emergency room have dwindled. Finally.

Those are the major improvements that she's made... so now let's talk about all the other stuff.

This is where my Drama Queen enters. And some sarcasm - so try not to be offended.

Maila is a preemie. I don't care how old she gets, she's a preemie. She small, and slow, and really hard. Now, with that said, I really don't want it to come across like I resent all this work with Maila, she's my baby - I'm her momma, this work is my divine right and I'm a blessed woman.

With that said, I. AM. STRUGGLING. And it makes me feel guilty. I know lots of people who either can't have their own kids, or have kids with problems far more serious than anything Maila has, but still. She is really hard for me, and I am REALLY struggling. Really.

In her 6 month post I wrote that sleep was a thing of the past, but at 8 months, I can't even remember what it's like to sleep.  And I'm not exaggerating. On the rare occasion that she sleeps for longer than 4 hours at a time at night, I'm woken by Max who has TOTALLY regressed in almost every aspect besides his vocabulary. He can't seem to sleep all night either, and especially not in his bed. Which I guess is partially Kyle and I's fault because we let him sleep on the floor in our room when Maila has to "cry it out". But now, it's borderline ridiculous. If we thought he was attached to his binky and blanky before, it's worse now. *sigh*

She does nap, thankfully. Unfortunately it's never at the same time as Max. Which means momma doesn't get a nap. Boo. I try doing the schedule thing, but they just can't seem to agree on when to sleep. But at least nap time is nice, that's when I  sit with Max or craft. Because as crazy as it may sound to you, crafting is my only outlet of energy it seems like in these LONG winter months. Plus, a decorated, clean, organized home helps me feel better.

I think the sleep deprivation is really the worst part. I can feel it's effects seeping into every aspect of my life. My ability to be a good wife to Kyle, and my ability to be a good mother to my two children.
I feel sick, exhausted, lethargic, and I can feel my patience fading. I spend a part of every day questioning my abilities as a mother and daughter of God and feeling lost and alone. But I know I'm not. There have to be millions of other mothers out there who are going through what I'm going through, and worse. I like to joke with Kyle that every time I say "I don't think I can do this anymore" or "I don't think it can get harder" - it gets harder, so I won't say that, but it feels that way. Heavenly Father isn't giving me more than I can handle, but I have to wonder exactly what He's seeing in me that I seem to be missing.

When Maila is awake, it's a cry fest. I'm not exaggerating people. And it drives me crazy when people contradict that!! I am the ONLY person who is around her 24/7 and when she is not sleeping, she is crying. Even after being fed, and having her diaper changed, she just cries ALL. THE. TIME. I don't even know how to handle that!! I usually just end up laying her in her bed while she's crying and then I sit down and cry myself. Do you know what it's like to feel like everything you do as a parent is wrong? That's how I feel. I can't do anything right. The only comfort in letting her cry and crying myself is that Max will sit on my lap, hug me and say "love you mommy". He seriously is an angel.

I hate having an all doom-and-gloom post but this is how it's going. I don't know if there are more happy moments or sad moments, and that's sad. And there's really no way for me to express myself because if I just talk about how hard it is, people think I'm being a diva and whining. But you don't know. You don't know what it's like. You're not here. You don't hold her little screaming body in the middle of the day, unable to play or teach Max because she is taking up all your attention. You don't feel how I feel when you get up for the 8th time in the middle of the night, hoping that this time, she'll sleep for longer than a half hour. You don't know what it feels like to look at Maila, and feel TOTALLY USELESS. We're way past helpless for her, it's evolved to USELESS. You don't know how I feel when I lay in bed at night and cry to my husband because I am feeling so totally lost. Maila is so hard. She is. For me. Maybe she wouldn't be hard for you, but she is for me. And something that doesn't make my life easier is people telling me that she'll grow out of it, or that she's really not that hard - she's a normal baby, I just think she's hard because Max was such an angel. That just makes me feel worse. I know eventually she'll "grow out of it" but I've passed the stage where they "grow out of it" 3 times with Maila. We're coming up on the 1 year mark where she's supposed to be caught up with other one years olds and that's not going to happen. She's over 8 months and still can't roll. So, I think being like other one years olds - maybe not so much. Maybe when she's 2. ish. Don't get me wrong, I'll never say that to your face. I'm really excellent at putting on a smile and telling people that things are peachy, but really I'm screaming on the inside. Because this is a lot of emotion, even for cyber space. But it's easier for me to put this out into cyber-space then tell someone to their face that I'm falling apart. Is that weird? Maybe.

I'm not even sure what the point of this post was now that I've written it. Maybe the hope is that someone will read it and let me know that I'm not the only mom who feels inadequate. Or maybe someone will read it and know that they're not alone in how they feel. Or maybe it's just because I'm entitled to one doom and gloom post every once and a while to just let out how I feel. How I really feel. And this is my blog so I can do what I want.

Whatever the reason, this is how it's going. It's hard.

I will ask one question to whoever dares to actually read this whole thing to the end -

How do I re-energize? I'm not even sure that's the right word. I'm low in the money supply so a spa weekend is not an option (however nice that would be), but I feel like I need to find something that helps me...I don't know... be me again. Kyle is so extremely helpful when he's home, but it only goes so far, I feel like I'm broken and only I can fix it. So how do I do that? How do you deal with things like this? How do I help myself? Because if I fall apart (which I'm so very close to doing) my family will fall apart. And I don't want that.

I'm so lost.


Friday, March 22, 2013

It's no secret...

...that I LOVE a good chalkboard!! Heck - I think I'm even daring to paint a whole wall black in my kids room just to get the look! (and hours of endless creativity)

I sat down tonight while my children and nieces watched Ice Age and finally figured out a printable for my favorite quote of all time. Lots and lots of people say it, but I got it from my mom.

This is sized for an 11 x 14 and I recently scored a frame that will be PERRR-FECT from my local thrift store. SCORE! I already know where this baby is going up in my house and am STOKED about having the constant reminder!! (in multiple places in my home...)

Be Happy! Life is Good!!

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Chalkboard Paint - yay or nay?

I know maybe it's an overdone trend nowadays, but that doesn't mean that I don't love it!

It's such a fun element!! And I have the PERFECT wall for it in my kids room...
 It's really not that large of a wall, but it's big enough to *hopefully* encourage hours of quiet playtime.

SO now, I just have a few questions to any moms, decorators, or owners of chalkboards walls (any anybody else) what YOU think!

Pros? Cons? Is it really messy? Hard to clean? I guess the only thing I really worry about is possibly the dust?? Is it really that bad? I've never worked with chalkboard paint before so I really have no idea, and a lot of the other blogs and such I've read don't really go into a lot of details about the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Please! Share your wisdom!

Hopefully it doesn't erase my chalkboard wall dreams...

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Thank You

To the person who thought of me, worried about me, and loved me enough to think of this.. Thank You. It was a highlight of my day, and meant more than you know. I am truly grateful.

This world is TRULY filled with good people.

Light & Bright Entryway!!

The first place that people see when they come into my quaint little home, is the entryway. That's also where the nasty shoes, coats, and mish-mosh of forgotten mail goes. Those two = don't mix.

Which is why I was SO sad for SO long that this is what people saw when they walked in my house...

Gross. What kind of a greeting is that?? Dirty mirror, stinky shoes, and usually a messy table top. I may or may not have cleaned it off for this picture in an attempt to show that it really wasn't so bad, but it was.

After brainstorming for a little bit, and thanks to redoing my bedroom.. I figured out a solution!! I swapped some furniture, moved around some decorations like this pretty mirror, thrifted some new accessories, and VIOLA!! Light and bright entryway!!

SUCH SUCH SUCH an improvement!!!

Complete with pretty little accessories!!!

...and an ever so gentle reminder to be happy!!

But want to know what I love most about my entryway???

Yep. You guessed it. DRAWERS TO HIDE THE NASTY SHOES!! Woo!!! Now this is all people see when they walk in not nasty dirty shoes!! *swoon*. (because your own house should make you swoon)

One more time...


Good News!!! Plus an ear infection...

Whew: I'm tired. And getting an ear infection (I'm pretty sure) because I can't hear out of my right ear. AT ALL. But it's ok. Maila and I will be twinners because she has an ear infection too.

But that's not our good news, even though that's pretty exciting happening.

And no (MOM - BOTH OF YOU), sadly it's not the "we're having a baby" news. No way.

It's more like:


*jumping for joy*

It's true people!! Mark it on your calendars and get ready to spend lots of hours in the pool, sun tanning in Phoenix, and then staying up way past my bedtime playing any kind of card game someone could think of in Boise.

It's going to be AWESOME.

We'll be in Phoenix from May 15 - May 27-28ish...

Then in Boise from then on until June 5th... there might be a TEENSY TINY excursion to Lewiston/Spokane during our escapde in Boise so that I can be at my best friends sealing to her newly adopted baby boy... but we'll cross the hurdle when we get there.

Alright? Alright. We hope you are as pumped about this as we are.

See you in the summer!!!

Friday, March 15, 2013

Maila and Minnie

They're going to be best friends. I can feel it.

St. Patty's Day Printable

St. Patrick's Day is right around the corner.... are you ready for it?? I know I'm not!!!! Gotta go get this baby printed!!!!


I've been playing a game lately called:

"How many times can I rewrite my HTML code on my blog"

Sorry for the annoyance if you look at my blog regularly... but I just can't seem to get it quite how I want it...

This is why people hire professionals.

Note to self.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

4 Generations!

While I was going through my pictures today I came across this lovely...

Aw :) Four Generations!! What an exciting thing for Maila to have!!! I don't have one... at least not one that I know of...

This is one of the reasons that I LOVE photography so much. You guys seriously have no idea. I am madly, passionately, in love with photography. How else would I be able to preserve a memory like this? How, I ask you!! How??

Plus, if photography didn't exist.. then how would I remember that 5 seconds after walking into the house, Grandma ran right up to Maila and left the biggest lipstick mark you've ever seen.

It made me smile and I left it there for quite a while because I remember Grandma leaving lipstick marks on me ALL. THE. TIME. I seriously could not see my grandma without walking away with lipstick all over my face.

Now it's Maila's turn. Muah ha ha ha!!!

PLUS.... are you seeing this? How could you say no to THAT?!

You get it girl.

P.S. I can literally hear her laughing when I look at that last picture....  PHOTOGRAPHY MAGIC

Glitter Mason Jars

I figured out what to do with my bedazzled Mason Jars!!

Fill them with flowers, and sit them on my lime green piano!!! PERRRRR-FECT!!!

What do you think?

It's a little vintage-y... which doesn't really match the rest of my house, but I kind of love it for that reason.... *swoon*

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Mason Jar Makeover

I've did a guest post over at!!

I'm really excited about it!!!!! Check it out!!!

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Monday, March 11, 2013

Home Again!

I spent this last week in Mesa, and boy oh boy was I busy!! Even getting there was crazy! My flight was originally on Tuesday but there was a massive storm coming into Chicago that day so Monday afternoon at 12 I changed my flight to 3pm on Monday. That gave me about an hour to shower, pack, clean the house, find somewhere for Max to go until Kyle got home from school (he had mandatory classes) and find a ride to the airport. Like I said, CRAZY. But I was glad I went because LOTS of flights, including mine were delayed or cancelled on Tuesday. I'm glad I have friends who are willing to help me at the drop of a hat! SO grateful!!

 One of the best parts (if you take out seeing my family and eating good food) was that I had sessions up to my eyeballs!!! It started with a bridal session on Tuesday....

A family session on Wednesday...

A family session on Thursday....

A family session on Friday....

And ending with a wedding on Saturday....

Trust me, It was a party.

The trip came at the perfect time for me, too! Needed BADLY to get away!! Not going to lie though, this trip was SUPER stressful for me and not exactly what I needed it to be. I really was hoping that I'd get to relax and kind of unwind but that did not happen. Not even for ONE SECOND. I don't know why I thought it would with like 6 sessions booked, but a girl can dream right?? Hopefully I can figure out how to unwind at home or the hubs and I can run away for a night and unwind together. I don't think this week was a breeze for him either. But work is work!! He's always going to be busy with school and hopefully I can stay this busy working! The money is helpful and the money from this week will go far for us! So all the stress and not sleeping and exhaustion (in every sense of the word) will be worth it!!

Now I just have to sift through almost 4 thousand pictures and edit... it's basically going to take me 8 years. Well, probably not 8 years but it'll be a while! At least I love this part. Editing is where you can make a lot of magic happen! Woo!!

Also, stay tuned for my new tutorial coming up this week!! It's SUPER easy and if you have hands, you can do it!! It's great!