Nope, she's not been born yet.
Tuesday was an interesting day, emotions wise. Of course everything is the same pregnancy wise. The baby still looks great and hasn't gone into distress and I never really developed an infection. So the date is still set for tomorrow morning.
My mom arrived in town last night, but it was late so she didn't come up to the hospital, but I did get to see her this morning!! That was WONDERFUL!! Oh how I've missed my mom!! It was so good to see her and laugh with her and just sit in the same room with her. There's something about seeing my mom that does wonders for my soul. Except for when we play Boggle together. Then she makes up words and they end up actually being words. Like "yoe" and "thar". Seriously?? She stayed around until about 6pm and then she left. She'd been here all day and my "yummy" hospital dinner had arrived and I think it was making her hungry, so she left to go get her own dinner and run some errands before the crazy set in.
My emotions had been fine, all day. Until about 8pm. When I think it actually, mentally set in that I was having a baby tomorrow. How is that possible, some may ask... but I feel like this whole thing isn't real. Or I just can't believe that this is how it turned out. That I've been in the hospital for 2 weeks, or that my baby is premature, or that I have to have a c-section. Even this afternoon, tomorrow morning felt like a long way off. And now that it was literally right around the corner, I may have lost it a little. My mom called (which always makes me cry), and my dad called (also cried) and then I called Heidi. That's when I really lost it, and basically couldn't pull it together after that. I called her to ask how Max was doing and couldn't even get past "hello" before I started crying. She told me stories and about some of the stuff they'd been doing and that he's been pretty happy, and it was nice to hear. Except it makes me feel like I missing it. Which, I am. But no mother likes to feel that way when it comes to her children. I think being apart from Max has been the absolute worst part of this whole ordeal. That part, is torture. Which is unfortunate because it will still be about 2 weeks until I have him back with me all the time. But at least it will be easier, or even an option, for me to go see him. And at least he'll be with his dad if he can't be with me.
After my phone call with Heidi (where I tried really hard not to let her know that I was having a breakdown) my nurse came in and gave me two Ambien so that I could try to get some kind of good night's sleep. It worked, because I don't remember much after that, other than Kyle woke me up around 11 to eat a sandwich, because I'm basically not allowed to eat until tomorrow afternoon-ish. That doesn't sound like fun to me. I like eating.
I'll update tomorrow, hopefully. Don't hold your breath though. We'll see how it all goes.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
July 16th
Nope, she's not been born yet. Monday was pretty uneventful. I sat in bed most of the day and worked on crafts. Which was really nice and relaxing. I watched a couple chick flicks and even indulged in a guilty pleasure (Real Housewives of Orange County Reunion). Those women are mean!!! Kyle went golfing with Nico, Jake, and Kyra to some course he's had his eye on since we got here and was gone for like 6 hours!! It took so long!! I'm not complaining or anything, it's not like there were things to do here at the hospital, but in all his golfing adventures, it's never taken 6 hours. I was beginning to question whether he remembered where the hospital was. But oh well. He had a good time and that's all I really care about. Max is having a good time as well in Lewiston. Aunt Heidi is basically the best ever! She sends me photos throughout the day and I LOVE it!! Makes me feel like I'm not mIssing out on that much, even though I'm missing everything. But only a couple more days until I get to see him again!! SO EXCITED! And only one day left on bedrest. I'm having so many different emotions right now, I don't even know what to do with them all. Hopefully I remember to update tonight before my c-section tomorrow morning. After that, it's going to be crazy.
Monday, July 16, 2012
July 14th, July 15th
Nope, she's not been born yet.
Saturday and Sunday were basically the same pregnancy wise as the last couple days. Nothing has developed (infection wise) and baby girl looks healthy as she can from the monitors. Which is a good sign. I'm pretty positive that she'll stay in until Wednesday. Which is a good thing, no matter how boring it is for Kyle and I to just sit here.
I'm trying to think if anything significant has happened these last couple days, but nothing comes to mind. Kyle and I have discovered a new game that has occupied lots of hours here. Boggle. It's ridiculous how fun it is. Or maybe it's not really that fun, it's just that there's nothing else to do here.
Max went home in Saturday night. He was up here from Thursday night so it was so good to see him. He was such a cuddle bug. Saturday he even fell asleep on the hospital bed with me. He hasn't napped like that in a long time. Kyle kept asking if I wanted him to move Max into his porta-crib that we had set up, but I couldn't. I just wanted to keep him sleeping so peacefully in my arms. Eventually Kyle did move him because I would have fallen off the bed. Max can be quite the bed hog. But it's ok. He's still adorable.
My mom is coming up on Tuesday. It will be so nice to see her. She always calms me down.
Only two more days here on bedrest. Then I'm just in bed to recover from my c-section. But at least I'll be able to get up when I feel like it. I am REALLY looking forward to that.
I'll let you know if anything else pops up. Kyle and I are ready for this part of it to be done. But you never know, watching our baby in the NICU could make us wish for me on bed rest instead.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
July13th
Nope, she's not been born yet.
Today was a good day. There's nothing different when it comes to my pregnancy and bed rest, but my emotions are so much better. It makes such a difference to be able to see my boy. Even if it is just for a couple hours a day. Plus my dad is in town and who doesn't love to see their dad? I think it's good for Kyle too. Having Max here has given him something to do during the day, although my dad took Max to work with him today. Of course Max was perfect for him. Max is usually perfect for the people who watch him.
Friday marks the beginning of the 9th day that I've been in the hospital. It's kind of funny to me, I feel like in the moment, the days last so long. But when I think about last Thursday, it feels like forever ago. I'm glad I've been keeping some kind of a journal because I can't remember those first couple days. It's crazy. I still can't believe this is happening.
I wrote this update on my iPod, so it's short and sweet. Hopefully I can find a computer to write a better update tomorrow. Plus my dad, Kyle, and Max are on their way to the hospital with doughnuts. Yum!
Friday, July 13, 2012
July 12th
Nope, she's not been born yet.
I have to convince myself every day that it's a good thing.
I mentioned yesterday that they were doing a 24 hour collection of my urine and I am happy to say that it's over! That was such a pain. The doctor came in after they had gotten the results and let me know that I have twice the protein in my urine than is normal. Which he said he thought would be the case because they took a urine sample on monday or something and it had a little protein in it. He didn't seem too concerned about it though. They are coming in more often now to monitor my blood pressure, because high blood pressure and protein in my urine mean preeclampsia. Which I got the impression that he didn't think I had it, but you never know. I guess they'll monitor me and we'll see what happens. Hopefully I don't have to deal with that so that I can make it to Wednesday, but he says that if I develop preeclampsia, I most likely wouldn't make it to Wednesday.
My sweet husband went and picked up Max today! I can't explain to you what seeing him did for my feeble little heart! It was so good to kiss and hug him and to have him run right at me! Max must surely be from my Heavenly Father because I felt His love for me when my son hugged me. As cheesy as some may think that sounds.
My dad arrived last night too. He's in town until Saturday for business. He's going to help us with Max because there's only so much time that a 1 year old can spend in a hospital room. My dad said he was excited to take him to work with him. He did it before when I was visiting my parents in Phoenix, and of course Max was perfect for him. Plus, I think my dad just loves spending time with Max. Who wouldn't? But, of course, I'm bias.
Grandpa Heppler also came into town last night for a fly fishing convention. He came to the hospital and brought me probably the best gift I've gotten since I got here. He said he wanted to make sure he got me something practical. So guess what it was....... a cork. Ha. Kyle and I actually laughed pretty hard. Oh Grandpa....
As difficult as these last couple days have been for me, I can't help but notice all the blessings that have basically fallen into my lap the last couple weeks. Heavenly Father has a plan, and He knows what's best for me and my family and I don't. There have been so many tender mercies lately, our lives have been so blessed. The longer we go down this road, and it's still a long hard road for us, the more aware I am of how much my Heavenly Father loves me.
"Mercies and blessings come in different forms--sometimes as hard things. Yet the Lord said, 'Thou shalt thank the Lord thy God in all things' (D&C 59:7). All things means just that: good things, difficult things--not just some things. He has commanded us to be grateful because He knows being grateful will make us happy. This is another evidence of His love." -Bonnie D. Parkin
I am grateful that I have the gospel, and such a strong love and support system around me to help me to remember to be grateful. It's not always easy for me, and I so easily feel defeated lately, but I have so many reminders to be grateful. So many tender mercies.
Until tomorrow...
I have to convince myself every day that it's a good thing.
I mentioned yesterday that they were doing a 24 hour collection of my urine and I am happy to say that it's over! That was such a pain. The doctor came in after they had gotten the results and let me know that I have twice the protein in my urine than is normal. Which he said he thought would be the case because they took a urine sample on monday or something and it had a little protein in it. He didn't seem too concerned about it though. They are coming in more often now to monitor my blood pressure, because high blood pressure and protein in my urine mean preeclampsia. Which I got the impression that he didn't think I had it, but you never know. I guess they'll monitor me and we'll see what happens. Hopefully I don't have to deal with that so that I can make it to Wednesday, but he says that if I develop preeclampsia, I most likely wouldn't make it to Wednesday.
My sweet husband went and picked up Max today! I can't explain to you what seeing him did for my feeble little heart! It was so good to kiss and hug him and to have him run right at me! Max must surely be from my Heavenly Father because I felt His love for me when my son hugged me. As cheesy as some may think that sounds.
My dad arrived last night too. He's in town until Saturday for business. He's going to help us with Max because there's only so much time that a 1 year old can spend in a hospital room. My dad said he was excited to take him to work with him. He did it before when I was visiting my parents in Phoenix, and of course Max was perfect for him. Plus, I think my dad just loves spending time with Max. Who wouldn't? But, of course, I'm bias.
Grandpa Heppler also came into town last night for a fly fishing convention. He came to the hospital and brought me probably the best gift I've gotten since I got here. He said he wanted to make sure he got me something practical. So guess what it was....... a cork. Ha. Kyle and I actually laughed pretty hard. Oh Grandpa....
As difficult as these last couple days have been for me, I can't help but notice all the blessings that have basically fallen into my lap the last couple weeks. Heavenly Father has a plan, and He knows what's best for me and my family and I don't. There have been so many tender mercies lately, our lives have been so blessed. The longer we go down this road, and it's still a long hard road for us, the more aware I am of how much my Heavenly Father loves me.
"Mercies and blessings come in different forms--sometimes as hard things. Yet the Lord said, 'Thou shalt thank the Lord thy God in all things' (D&C 59:7). All things means just that: good things, difficult things--not just some things. He has commanded us to be grateful because He knows being grateful will make us happy. This is another evidence of His love." -Bonnie D. Parkin
I am grateful that I have the gospel, and such a strong love and support system around me to help me to remember to be grateful. It's not always easy for me, and I so easily feel defeated lately, but I have so many reminders to be grateful. So many tender mercies.
Until tomorrow...
Thursday, July 12, 2012
July 11th
Nope, she's not been born yet.
The doctor came in this morning though and informed me that my c-section has been scheduled! Woo!!! Next Wednesday (July 18th) at 9:45a.m. Only one week left. So that's all well and good - if she stays in that long...
They're still concerned about me getting an infection. They've done by bloodwork now 3 times and each time my white blood cell count is a little high. My blood pressure has also been a little high and I run sparatic fevers... but because my fevers always break and I'm not exibiting any other symptoms, they don't seem too worried. They collected a urine sample from me and it showed that it had some protein in it and some blood..which sounds a little sketchy to me... My doctor (Dr. Forsnes) says that it could be the beginning of a UTI. Awesome. There's not a lot they can do about it now except for increasing their monitoring. Someone comes in about every 3 hours for vitals and now they are collecting all of my urine for the next 24 hours. I asked him what happens if it shows elevated levels of protein and he said that if that were the case, they may move up my due date. But we'll see. In all honesty, I'm still suprised that I've made it this long. Wednesday is day 7 for me in the hospital.
I'm going to go crazy.
In brighter news, my baby Max is coming up tomorrow to see me! I'm excited about that!!! Heidi and Kyle are meeting halfway and then Max is going to spend some quality time up here with his parents - well, mostly his daddy. But at least I'll be able to see him. It's really hard to not be able to see him, so I'm really hoping that it will help me to feel better about this whole thing. My dad is also arriving tomorrow night. He has business meetings in Spokane this week, but he'll be staying an extra day to spend some time with us. Which is great - I need my dad's love. It's also great for Kyle because that means he gets a break from sleeping on the horrible hospital couch sofa thing. Plus, it will give Kyle something to do. He needs something to do. He did bring his golf clubs up to Spokane but he doesn't get the student discount on these golf courses that he gets in Lewiston. So it's a whopping $30 bucks every time he wants to go. He's been a couple times, but our poor bank account can't handle much more. So hopefully having Max and my Dad here will be a nice distraction for him and he'll forget about how boring it is here at the hospital with me. Although we did play Jenga tonight - that was intense.
If all goes according to the new plan - I'll have a beautiful new baby girl next week. Even if everything doesn't go according to the plan, I'll still have a new baby girl next week. I'm just hoping she's healthy as she can be at this point.
Nothing else much has changed, I'm still not feeling contractions. But my back is starting to ache and my stomach is upset all the time. Probably because I've literally done no physical activity for the last 7 days and the food here is.... interesting, to say the least.
I can't wait to not lie down for, like, 8 years after this.
The doctor came in this morning though and informed me that my c-section has been scheduled! Woo!!! Next Wednesday (July 18th) at 9:45a.m. Only one week left. So that's all well and good - if she stays in that long...
They're still concerned about me getting an infection. They've done by bloodwork now 3 times and each time my white blood cell count is a little high. My blood pressure has also been a little high and I run sparatic fevers... but because my fevers always break and I'm not exibiting any other symptoms, they don't seem too worried. They collected a urine sample from me and it showed that it had some protein in it and some blood..which sounds a little sketchy to me... My doctor (Dr. Forsnes) says that it could be the beginning of a UTI. Awesome. There's not a lot they can do about it now except for increasing their monitoring. Someone comes in about every 3 hours for vitals and now they are collecting all of my urine for the next 24 hours. I asked him what happens if it shows elevated levels of protein and he said that if that were the case, they may move up my due date. But we'll see. In all honesty, I'm still suprised that I've made it this long. Wednesday is day 7 for me in the hospital.
I'm going to go crazy.
In brighter news, my baby Max is coming up tomorrow to see me! I'm excited about that!!! Heidi and Kyle are meeting halfway and then Max is going to spend some quality time up here with his parents - well, mostly his daddy. But at least I'll be able to see him. It's really hard to not be able to see him, so I'm really hoping that it will help me to feel better about this whole thing. My dad is also arriving tomorrow night. He has business meetings in Spokane this week, but he'll be staying an extra day to spend some time with us. Which is great - I need my dad's love. It's also great for Kyle because that means he gets a break from sleeping on the horrible hospital couch sofa thing. Plus, it will give Kyle something to do. He needs something to do. He did bring his golf clubs up to Spokane but he doesn't get the student discount on these golf courses that he gets in Lewiston. So it's a whopping $30 bucks every time he wants to go. He's been a couple times, but our poor bank account can't handle much more. So hopefully having Max and my Dad here will be a nice distraction for him and he'll forget about how boring it is here at the hospital with me. Although we did play Jenga tonight - that was intense.
If all goes according to the new plan - I'll have a beautiful new baby girl next week. Even if everything doesn't go according to the plan, I'll still have a new baby girl next week. I'm just hoping she's healthy as she can be at this point.
Nothing else much has changed, I'm still not feeling contractions. But my back is starting to ache and my stomach is upset all the time. Probably because I've literally done no physical activity for the last 7 days and the food here is.... interesting, to say the least.
I can't wait to not lie down for, like, 8 years after this.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
July 10th
Nope, she's not been born yet.
Tuesday marks Week 33! Which is wonderful!! I'm still leaking fluid, but the baby is still in there! And as far as all the monitors and doctors and nurses are concerned, she's doing great! She's got a strong heartbeat and because I'm still leaking amniotic fluid, the doctors say that it's a sign that her kidneys are working, because it's essentially fetal urine that's coming out. So from what they can tell, she looks good. Hopefully, for her sake, she can make it until next Tuesday. That's all the good updates, so if you want only good news, stop reading.
Mom, on the other hand, is fading fast. I feel like because I'm using this as an online journal for the time being, I'm allowed to write whatever I want and however I'm feeling. And quite honestly, I'm thrilled that she's getting healthier by the day, but I can feel my morale starting to dip. My body is so overloaded with emotions and so little sleep that I don't even feel like myself anymore. You would think that when you get to be in bed all day you get to sleep, and maybe that's the case for some, but not for me. I have people in and out all the time. From sun up to sun up. Every four hours minimun is required vital taking time, and they come in about 3 or 4 times during those 4 hours. So getting any productive rest is hard.
And then there's my Max. Absolutely breaks my heart that I'm not with him. All I want is to snuggle and love my little boy. Facetime and Skype can only give you so much. I feel like each day that I don't get to see him, puts me further down. Makes me feel like a lousy mother that I can't even take care of my own child, scratch that, I can't even take care of either child correctly. Max is in Lewiston with Heidi and my body has so epically failed for this little girl that I can't even stay pregnant long enough for her to be healthy. It's a bitter ride that my emotions are taking me on and the longer I sit here in this hospital bed, the worse I feel.
My mother-in-law reminded me of a sign that I have in my kitchen window that says "We Can Do Hard Things". I suppose I should think of that more often, because whether I think I can, or I feel like I can't, there's really no where to go but forward. I guess I'm just struggling with seeing the light at the end of the tunnel at this point.
Hopefully tomorrow will be better.
Tuesday marks Week 33! Which is wonderful!! I'm still leaking fluid, but the baby is still in there! And as far as all the monitors and doctors and nurses are concerned, she's doing great! She's got a strong heartbeat and because I'm still leaking amniotic fluid, the doctors say that it's a sign that her kidneys are working, because it's essentially fetal urine that's coming out. So from what they can tell, she looks good. Hopefully, for her sake, she can make it until next Tuesday. That's all the good updates, so if you want only good news, stop reading.
Mom, on the other hand, is fading fast. I feel like because I'm using this as an online journal for the time being, I'm allowed to write whatever I want and however I'm feeling. And quite honestly, I'm thrilled that she's getting healthier by the day, but I can feel my morale starting to dip. My body is so overloaded with emotions and so little sleep that I don't even feel like myself anymore. You would think that when you get to be in bed all day you get to sleep, and maybe that's the case for some, but not for me. I have people in and out all the time. From sun up to sun up. Every four hours minimun is required vital taking time, and they come in about 3 or 4 times during those 4 hours. So getting any productive rest is hard.
And then there's my Max. Absolutely breaks my heart that I'm not with him. All I want is to snuggle and love my little boy. Facetime and Skype can only give you so much. I feel like each day that I don't get to see him, puts me further down. Makes me feel like a lousy mother that I can't even take care of my own child, scratch that, I can't even take care of either child correctly. Max is in Lewiston with Heidi and my body has so epically failed for this little girl that I can't even stay pregnant long enough for her to be healthy. It's a bitter ride that my emotions are taking me on and the longer I sit here in this hospital bed, the worse I feel.
My mother-in-law reminded me of a sign that I have in my kitchen window that says "We Can Do Hard Things". I suppose I should think of that more often, because whether I think I can, or I feel like I can't, there's really no where to go but forward. I guess I'm just struggling with seeing the light at the end of the tunnel at this point.
Hopefully tomorrow will be better.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
July 7th, July 8th, July 9th
Nope, she's not been born yet.
There's only so long that you can sit around in a hospital room. Only so many movies you can watch, games you can play, and hours you can spend sleeping. Then, you start to go crazy. Luckily, my husband has the option to get out and do things. He brought his golf clubs up from Lewiston and Saturday morning he went golfing. Again, it wasn't a big deal because I still was showing no signs of contractions or anything and Kyle would go absolutely nuts if he had to sit around here all day.
Nothing else really happens here at the hospital. It's all just one big waiting game... I've got nurses and doctors that walk in and out of my room constantly. Giving me my antibiotics, taking my vitals, drawing my blood for labs, monitoring the baby, and keeping track of my contractions (if I were to have any).
I think Kyle and I have gotten past the initial shock that this baby isn't going to be as healthy as we would like, which in a way is nice. Our brains are working enough now to come up with questions for us to ask. And I guess in a catch 22 kind of way, it is nice to know that i'm only going to be in the Hospital until around next Tuesday, when I hit 34 weeks. They won't leave the baby in for longer than that because of the risk of infection to me.
Saturday and Sunday were fairly uneventful. The doctor finally signed off on me being able to shower. That was exciting!! But then apparently I took too long and got yelled at for taking too long. Oh well. I needed a shower. I think everyone who's been around me could agree to that too.
Monday was a different story. I'd been having some stomach pains (not contractions - they felt like really bad gas pains but they were consistent) so the doctor wanted to run some tests. They drew some blood and found that my white blood cell count was high. That means that my body could be preparing to launch an attack on something... like an infection. I also had a fever, and my blood pressure was high. All signs of the beginning of an infection. Which I'm not even sure how I would get an infection at this point because my body is so pumped full of antibiotics. I wasn't allowed to eat in the event that they would need to do an emergency c-section if it was an infection. But eventually my fever broke and my blood pressure lowered to a more normal number, so now I'm just being monitored closer, and so is baby. Instead of every 6 hours, they come in every 4 hours and probably 2 or 3 times in between.
It's exhausting, but at least I know that if something were to happen, it would be a quick turnaround. The last thing I want is to develop an infection that could spread to this little girl. She is already going to be putting up quite a fight and I don't want to make it worse.
I think that's all the updates for now...we'll see how Tuesday goes.
P.S. I've made it to 33 Weeks!!!!! Yay!!!! My doctors are all excited about that! and so is the staff in the NICU. They tell me that for every day that she's inside of me, is two days less that she has to spend in the NICU. Every day is a victory for us here.
There's only so long that you can sit around in a hospital room. Only so many movies you can watch, games you can play, and hours you can spend sleeping. Then, you start to go crazy. Luckily, my husband has the option to get out and do things. He brought his golf clubs up from Lewiston and Saturday morning he went golfing. Again, it wasn't a big deal because I still was showing no signs of contractions or anything and Kyle would go absolutely nuts if he had to sit around here all day.
Nothing else really happens here at the hospital. It's all just one big waiting game... I've got nurses and doctors that walk in and out of my room constantly. Giving me my antibiotics, taking my vitals, drawing my blood for labs, monitoring the baby, and keeping track of my contractions (if I were to have any).
I think Kyle and I have gotten past the initial shock that this baby isn't going to be as healthy as we would like, which in a way is nice. Our brains are working enough now to come up with questions for us to ask. And I guess in a catch 22 kind of way, it is nice to know that i'm only going to be in the Hospital until around next Tuesday, when I hit 34 weeks. They won't leave the baby in for longer than that because of the risk of infection to me.
Saturday and Sunday were fairly uneventful. The doctor finally signed off on me being able to shower. That was exciting!! But then apparently I took too long and got yelled at for taking too long. Oh well. I needed a shower. I think everyone who's been around me could agree to that too.
Monday was a different story. I'd been having some stomach pains (not contractions - they felt like really bad gas pains but they were consistent) so the doctor wanted to run some tests. They drew some blood and found that my white blood cell count was high. That means that my body could be preparing to launch an attack on something... like an infection. I also had a fever, and my blood pressure was high. All signs of the beginning of an infection. Which I'm not even sure how I would get an infection at this point because my body is so pumped full of antibiotics. I wasn't allowed to eat in the event that they would need to do an emergency c-section if it was an infection. But eventually my fever broke and my blood pressure lowered to a more normal number, so now I'm just being monitored closer, and so is baby. Instead of every 6 hours, they come in every 4 hours and probably 2 or 3 times in between.
It's exhausting, but at least I know that if something were to happen, it would be a quick turnaround. The last thing I want is to develop an infection that could spread to this little girl. She is already going to be putting up quite a fight and I don't want to make it worse.
I think that's all the updates for now...we'll see how Tuesday goes.
P.S. I've made it to 33 Weeks!!!!! Yay!!!! My doctors are all excited about that! and so is the staff in the NICU. They tell me that for every day that she's inside of me, is two days less that she has to spend in the NICU. Every day is a victory for us here.
Sunday, July 8, 2012
July 6th
Nope, she's not been born.
Friday was an easier day than thursday. Kyle arrived in Spokane thursday night and spent the night here. Because the Hobson reunion was going on in Lewiston he left around 3:30a.m. Friday morning to get back to Lewiston in time for the 6a.m. tee time for the Men's Golfing tournament. I figured it wasn't a big deal, I wasn't having any contractions yet and there's really nothing for him to do here except twiddle his thumbs and he's not very good at that.
Our night nurse from Thursday was so wonderful. Her name is Sonja. If I could, I would have her be my nurse all the time. She's so easy and sweet and our personalities are very similiar so it's wonderful. She even calls me "girly" which is something my mom calls me so it makes me feel just that much more special and loved.
While Kyle was back in Lewiston with his family, I got taken down for a more thorough ultrasound. Because I'm only 32 weeks and my water is broken, I'm considered a high risk patient. So there's a special wing in the hospital where they do the ultrasounds for patients like that. It was a little intense. You're not allowed to ask questiosn to the technician who actually does that ultrasound - you have to wait until after they're done and then a doctor comes in and explains what's been going on. So it was a chance for me to take a little nap.
The results were a little intense from the ultrasound - the baby is breech and mostly likely will not be moving out of that position because of how little amniotic fluid there is. In a normal pregnancy there's around 12-24cm of amniotic fluid surrounding baby, doctors start to get concerned when the level gets to around 5-8cm. I measured at 4cm. That opens up a whole can of worms. Risk of infection is higher, risk of cord collapsing is higher, etc. Because she was breech when my water broke and there's not enough fluid in there anymore for her to be able to move, she will be delivered by C-Section. Ah. Deep breath Hailey.
After my ultrasound, I was wheeled back up to my room and had some more visitors. Karleen Grothe from my high school was there to see me. Which was so nice. I hadn't talked to her in a really long time. It was nice to catch up. Nico and his girlfriend Kyra came by again and while all three of them were there, Kyle arrived back at the hospital. We all visited for a little while and then after everyone left. Kyle and I napped. Neither one of us had gotten very much sleep in the last two days.
After napping, we took a tour of the NICU. That was actually more comforting than not. We saw alot of babies ( some SUPER tiny - and some around the age that this girl will be when she's born ). The ones that were around 32-33 weeks weren't as small as I thought they would be so it was comforting to put my mind at ease. The nurses up there were all wonderful too. They kept saying "32 weeks? Oh she'll be fine! Those little girls are tough!" It's always nice to have that kind of assurance.
Between the endless arrival of doctors and nurses and specialists, we learned that she will probably be in the NICU up until close to my due date. Which means that I'll probably be living in Spokane up until that point. I have to be around to be able to pump (she won't be able to breastfeed for a while - but I have to make sure that I keep my milk supply up) and to just be there in case something were to happen. Being in Lewiston (which is only 2 hours away) is just too far out of my comfort zone if something were to happen to her.
The downside to this is Max. It's Sunday right now and I haven't seen him since Wednesday night. That's heartbreaking, I'm sure all the mothers out there can agree. I just want to hold my baby boy.
I think that covers alot of Friday as well... again, I'm sure I've missed some details but you get the general idea.
This whole journey is just mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausting for both Kyle and I. And it hasn't even really started yet.
Friday was an easier day than thursday. Kyle arrived in Spokane thursday night and spent the night here. Because the Hobson reunion was going on in Lewiston he left around 3:30a.m. Friday morning to get back to Lewiston in time for the 6a.m. tee time for the Men's Golfing tournament. I figured it wasn't a big deal, I wasn't having any contractions yet and there's really nothing for him to do here except twiddle his thumbs and he's not very good at that.
Our night nurse from Thursday was so wonderful. Her name is Sonja. If I could, I would have her be my nurse all the time. She's so easy and sweet and our personalities are very similiar so it's wonderful. She even calls me "girly" which is something my mom calls me so it makes me feel just that much more special and loved.
While Kyle was back in Lewiston with his family, I got taken down for a more thorough ultrasound. Because I'm only 32 weeks and my water is broken, I'm considered a high risk patient. So there's a special wing in the hospital where they do the ultrasounds for patients like that. It was a little intense. You're not allowed to ask questiosn to the technician who actually does that ultrasound - you have to wait until after they're done and then a doctor comes in and explains what's been going on. So it was a chance for me to take a little nap.
The results were a little intense from the ultrasound - the baby is breech and mostly likely will not be moving out of that position because of how little amniotic fluid there is. In a normal pregnancy there's around 12-24cm of amniotic fluid surrounding baby, doctors start to get concerned when the level gets to around 5-8cm. I measured at 4cm. That opens up a whole can of worms. Risk of infection is higher, risk of cord collapsing is higher, etc. Because she was breech when my water broke and there's not enough fluid in there anymore for her to be able to move, she will be delivered by C-Section. Ah. Deep breath Hailey.
After my ultrasound, I was wheeled back up to my room and had some more visitors. Karleen Grothe from my high school was there to see me. Which was so nice. I hadn't talked to her in a really long time. It was nice to catch up. Nico and his girlfriend Kyra came by again and while all three of them were there, Kyle arrived back at the hospital. We all visited for a little while and then after everyone left. Kyle and I napped. Neither one of us had gotten very much sleep in the last two days.
After napping, we took a tour of the NICU. That was actually more comforting than not. We saw alot of babies ( some SUPER tiny - and some around the age that this girl will be when she's born ). The ones that were around 32-33 weeks weren't as small as I thought they would be so it was comforting to put my mind at ease. The nurses up there were all wonderful too. They kept saying "32 weeks? Oh she'll be fine! Those little girls are tough!" It's always nice to have that kind of assurance.
Between the endless arrival of doctors and nurses and specialists, we learned that she will probably be in the NICU up until close to my due date. Which means that I'll probably be living in Spokane up until that point. I have to be around to be able to pump (she won't be able to breastfeed for a while - but I have to make sure that I keep my milk supply up) and to just be there in case something were to happen. Being in Lewiston (which is only 2 hours away) is just too far out of my comfort zone if something were to happen to her.
The downside to this is Max. It's Sunday right now and I haven't seen him since Wednesday night. That's heartbreaking, I'm sure all the mothers out there can agree. I just want to hold my baby boy.
I think that covers alot of Friday as well... again, I'm sure I've missed some details but you get the general idea.
This whole journey is just mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausting for both Kyle and I. And it hasn't even really started yet.
July 5th
Nope, she's not been born yet.
You'll have to excuse me, but my blog is about to become my journal on this little adventure with our (as-yet-unnamed) daughter and her birth story. I want to remember the details and because I didn't grab a journal to bring with me (or even think about it) this is the best way I know how.
July 5th
I guess maybe I should have noticed that something wasn't quite right from the night before. We had spent a lovely evening watching the fireworks in Heidi and Kent's backyard. My sweet husband had even brought our lazy boy recliner up for me to sit on in the lawn because I had been complaining of a sore back. (yes, we know it's a little white trash, but you'll get over it)
I decided to call the Labor & Delivery department at St. Joes in Lewiston to see if they could shed any light on my situation. They said they weren't sure what it could be and that maybe it was some amniotic fluid, but that they wanted me to come in anyways - always better to be safe than sorry.
I went in to wake up Kyle to tell him that he needed to take me to the hospital and was a little apprehensive about it. He had been so exhausted lately and we had only been asleep for 4 hours so I knew he wouldn't be feeling good, but I couldn't drive myself to the hospital. I think he thought I was crazy when I leaned over him in bed and whispered "Honey, I need you to take me to the Hospital, I think my water broke." He just kind of gave me this blank stare and said "Seriously?". I've sinced asked him what he thought when I came in to wake him up and he said "I thought I was dreaming, I still think I'm dreaming."
Anyways, he got up and took me into the hospital. We didn't grab anything except for our cell phones and our wallets. After all, they would just be sending me home in a couple hours. Not the case. After arriving at the hospital I was taken up to Labor & Delivery and immeadiately hooked up to monitors and they ran a bunch of tests on me to see what fluid was leaking. All the tests came back positive for Amniotic Fluid and that's when I knew something was wrong. This was probably around 5a.m. The nurses called the OB that was on call to come into the hospital and I figured from that point on, it was going to be a long day.
Dr. Watson was the OB that arrived at the hospital and after talking to the nurses and running some more tests, he came in and told me that St. Joe's was not going to be able to take care of me. (What does that even mean???) Because my water had broken at 32 weeks, that meant that the baby was coming soon and St. Joe's doesn't have a NICU that would be able to take care of her. That meant transportation to Spokane. Here's where I started feeling like I was in a dream. Seriously? I have to be transported to Spokane?? Oh dear.
We had all of 30 minutes in the hospital after Dr. Watson told me that I was being transported to Spokane to prepare to leave. I would have to be air lifted up there because they weren't sure when the baby was going to come and didn't want to leave anything to chance. Kyle called his Dad as soon as the doctor had left our room and asked him to come down to the Hospital to give me a blessing. His dad actually got here fairly quickly, which was relief.
I feel like at this point I really should say that it is such a blessing to be a member of the Church. I've been given a lot of blessings in my life and had alot of touching experiences, but this was sits at the top. With so much unknown and both Kyle and myself being terrified of what could happen, it was so reassuring to be able to have Kyle give me a blessing and have his father there to support him. I knew during the blessing that this would going to be really hard for Kyle. I think over the course of the whoel time I've known Kyle, I've never seen him cry. It broke my heart to listen to him giving me a blessing and not being able to choke back the tears. It was truly one of the most spiritual experiences I've had in my entire life. Very beautiful. How lucky I am to have a husband worthy to use the preisthood to bless my family.
After the blessing, the life-flight crew was there. I was strapped to a stretcher, hauled away in an ambulance, lifted into a plane and flown to Spokane. That was an interesting experience. I have never been on a plane that small and to be honest, hope I never have to again. After arriving in Spokane, it was an ambulance to the hospital and then more tests, more doctors, and more of the unknown. Kyle wasn't allowed to accompany me on the plane so I was all alone for a while before he could make it up there. I met with a bunch of different doctors and nursers who all confirmed that it was indeed my water that had broken and that meant that I would be on hospitalized bed rest until she arrived. Whether that was 20 min, 2 days, or 2 weeks they didn't know. Seeing as how my water was gone, however, they told me that I would not be pregnant longer than 34 weeks. At that point, the risk of me getting an infection is worse than the side effects of premature birth for baby girl. So the longest that I would be hospitalized would be for 2 weeks. Although noone seemed too optimistic that I would make it that long. Typically after your water breaks, you go into labor within about 72 hours.
I was put on an IV and immediately injected with antibiotics. Two rounds every 6 hours for 48 hours. They also gave me two steroid shots - 24 hours apart in my thigh. HOLY CRAP. Those, are painful.
I had some visitors on Thursday as well.. Grandma Linda arrived shortly after I did to the hospital. Dianne Mulloy came, my cousin Nico came, and Janet and Lindsay Bischoff came. It was overwhelming and humbling to say the least.
Thursday night was not great. My vein that the IV in my hand was in, burst so they needed to move it. They poked me 8 times up and down both arms before finding a vein that would work. Painful. I look like I've been beat up. But just on my arms. It took 2 nurses and 1 anesthesiologist to get my IV into a vein.
To be honest, thursday was such a whirlwind. I didn't know what to think and was constantly being fed all this information that I didn't know how to process and was still stuck somewhere inbetween "this has to be a dream" and "how am I supposed to handle this". I still think I'm stuck in that place.
I'm sure I've missed some of the details but that's all that my overloaded head can come up with at this point.
P.S. Did I mention that the Hobson Family Reunion in Lewiston started on July 5th?? Excellent timing. While Kyle's whole family was arriving in Lewiston for the next 4 days, we were being rushed off to Spokane to deal with this. I would MUCH rather be there than here, but there's nothing I can do about that now, is there?
You'll have to excuse me, but my blog is about to become my journal on this little adventure with our (as-yet-unnamed) daughter and her birth story. I want to remember the details and because I didn't grab a journal to bring with me (or even think about it) this is the best way I know how.
July 5th
I guess maybe I should have noticed that something wasn't quite right from the night before. We had spent a lovely evening watching the fireworks in Heidi and Kent's backyard. My sweet husband had even brought our lazy boy recliner up for me to sit on in the lawn because I had been complaining of a sore back. (yes, we know it's a little white trash, but you'll get over it)
For me, complaining about a sore back wasn't that unusual lately. I've been seeing a chiropractor for the last couple of weeks for a herniated disk and a swollen siatic nerve, which is maybe why I didn't think anything of the pain that I was experiencing.
Anywho, so I sat outside and we watched fireworks and did all that good stuff. Brad & Tiffany who were in town a little early for the reunion went with the Simmons down to Clarkston to watch another firework show. (we couldn't get too crazy up at the Simmons because the wheat hadn't been harvested and we didn't want to be responsible for burning down the whole hill.) Kyle and I decided to stay home (me mostly because my back was really starting to hurt and Kyle because I think he just wanted to stay with me - so sweet)
We ended up going to bed around midnight I think. It was later than we should have stayed up, but family was in town and it is always nice to see family. Plus, we figured that we would be able to sleep in the next morning. Ha. How incorrect we were.
I was woken up around 4a.m. on the 5th with a gush of fluid. I wasn't sure what it was, I honestly thought for a second that I was hemmoraging again and was terrified that it would be bloody when I got up. But it wasn't - phew. It was clear so I just assumed that I had wet the bed or something. I got up, went to the bathroom and started to change into some clean dry clothes, when I had another gush of fluid... I knew it wasn't pee at this point because I couldn't stop it and I could tell it wasn't coming out of the same place. I'm not entirely sure that I thought something was wrong at this point because I really didn't think that it would be my water breaking. I am only 32 weeks pregnant AND I hadn't been having contractions. With it being so early, I decided not to wake Kyle up to see what he thought and instead "googled" what fluid leaking in 3rd trimester could mean. That was a mistake. Unless you want to freak yourself out and convince yourself that you're dying - It's never a good idea to google what could be wrong with you.
I decided to call the Labor & Delivery department at St. Joes in Lewiston to see if they could shed any light on my situation. They said they weren't sure what it could be and that maybe it was some amniotic fluid, but that they wanted me to come in anyways - always better to be safe than sorry.
I went in to wake up Kyle to tell him that he needed to take me to the hospital and was a little apprehensive about it. He had been so exhausted lately and we had only been asleep for 4 hours so I knew he wouldn't be feeling good, but I couldn't drive myself to the hospital. I think he thought I was crazy when I leaned over him in bed and whispered "Honey, I need you to take me to the Hospital, I think my water broke." He just kind of gave me this blank stare and said "Seriously?". I've sinced asked him what he thought when I came in to wake him up and he said "I thought I was dreaming, I still think I'm dreaming."
Anyways, he got up and took me into the hospital. We didn't grab anything except for our cell phones and our wallets. After all, they would just be sending me home in a couple hours. Not the case. After arriving at the hospital I was taken up to Labor & Delivery and immeadiately hooked up to monitors and they ran a bunch of tests on me to see what fluid was leaking. All the tests came back positive for Amniotic Fluid and that's when I knew something was wrong. This was probably around 5a.m. The nurses called the OB that was on call to come into the hospital and I figured from that point on, it was going to be a long day.
Dr. Watson was the OB that arrived at the hospital and after talking to the nurses and running some more tests, he came in and told me that St. Joe's was not going to be able to take care of me. (What does that even mean???) Because my water had broken at 32 weeks, that meant that the baby was coming soon and St. Joe's doesn't have a NICU that would be able to take care of her. That meant transportation to Spokane. Here's where I started feeling like I was in a dream. Seriously? I have to be transported to Spokane?? Oh dear.
We had all of 30 minutes in the hospital after Dr. Watson told me that I was being transported to Spokane to prepare to leave. I would have to be air lifted up there because they weren't sure when the baby was going to come and didn't want to leave anything to chance. Kyle called his Dad as soon as the doctor had left our room and asked him to come down to the Hospital to give me a blessing. His dad actually got here fairly quickly, which was relief.
I feel like at this point I really should say that it is such a blessing to be a member of the Church. I've been given a lot of blessings in my life and had alot of touching experiences, but this was sits at the top. With so much unknown and both Kyle and myself being terrified of what could happen, it was so reassuring to be able to have Kyle give me a blessing and have his father there to support him. I knew during the blessing that this would going to be really hard for Kyle. I think over the course of the whoel time I've known Kyle, I've never seen him cry. It broke my heart to listen to him giving me a blessing and not being able to choke back the tears. It was truly one of the most spiritual experiences I've had in my entire life. Very beautiful. How lucky I am to have a husband worthy to use the preisthood to bless my family.
After the blessing, the life-flight crew was there. I was strapped to a stretcher, hauled away in an ambulance, lifted into a plane and flown to Spokane. That was an interesting experience. I have never been on a plane that small and to be honest, hope I never have to again. After arriving in Spokane, it was an ambulance to the hospital and then more tests, more doctors, and more of the unknown. Kyle wasn't allowed to accompany me on the plane so I was all alone for a while before he could make it up there. I met with a bunch of different doctors and nursers who all confirmed that it was indeed my water that had broken and that meant that I would be on hospitalized bed rest until she arrived. Whether that was 20 min, 2 days, or 2 weeks they didn't know. Seeing as how my water was gone, however, they told me that I would not be pregnant longer than 34 weeks. At that point, the risk of me getting an infection is worse than the side effects of premature birth for baby girl. So the longest that I would be hospitalized would be for 2 weeks. Although noone seemed too optimistic that I would make it that long. Typically after your water breaks, you go into labor within about 72 hours.
I was put on an IV and immediately injected with antibiotics. Two rounds every 6 hours for 48 hours. They also gave me two steroid shots - 24 hours apart in my thigh. HOLY CRAP. Those, are painful.
I had some visitors on Thursday as well.. Grandma Linda arrived shortly after I did to the hospital. Dianne Mulloy came, my cousin Nico came, and Janet and Lindsay Bischoff came. It was overwhelming and humbling to say the least.
Thursday night was not great. My vein that the IV in my hand was in, burst so they needed to move it. They poked me 8 times up and down both arms before finding a vein that would work. Painful. I look like I've been beat up. But just on my arms. It took 2 nurses and 1 anesthesiologist to get my IV into a vein.
To be honest, thursday was such a whirlwind. I didn't know what to think and was constantly being fed all this information that I didn't know how to process and was still stuck somewhere inbetween "this has to be a dream" and "how am I supposed to handle this". I still think I'm stuck in that place.
I'm sure I've missed some of the details but that's all that my overloaded head can come up with at this point.
P.S. Did I mention that the Hobson Family Reunion in Lewiston started on July 5th?? Excellent timing. While Kyle's whole family was arriving in Lewiston for the next 4 days, we were being rushed off to Spokane to deal with this. I would MUCH rather be there than here, but there's nothing I can do about that now, is there?